Mr emo?

i always remembered that how cool those heros or main characters in a show or anime as they always is the main person of the show,if a show without them ? its not even a show. I always wish that my life could be like the animes characters i seen , eiter u start with a very sad background story , or u are born with somethings a normal huamn dun have or even labeled as monster.After what that has happened to them,they still live on strongly changing their fate,changing peoples view on them ,changing everyone around them .Being reconigse is so so so much they gotten and yet its what they get from the hard life , painful path they had gone through.This is a life i always wish to lead, be the leading character in my life,change everything around me,change my life,but the motivation ,the heart, the feel,its all absent .Always waiting for a day where i can change my life,but what can waiting do? I want to fill my emptiness in my heart,the loneliness in myself,my dreams,my goals... Far-fetch reachable,yet i wooden doll with a heart i am , self-centering myself,i will never move anywhere,always stay still,with a moving heart and a mind full of thoughts but its my body ,the wooden hard shell has yet moved not even an inch.The world is so big to me,the life is so far for me,my dream are too high for me,my future its so blurish from me.Will i succeed?Will i move?Will i even change?Will i become my life's leader character?Will everything come true? can my wish be granted?What else can i think? i lose myself into my life far too long ,i want to walk out of this place.Where is the entrance? Where is the exit? Where is my home? Where do i belong? Where am i ? What the hell is going on?? I want to rest in peace in a quiet place,doing things i want ,doing thigns i wish,doing things i like ,being myself,being my life.I WANT A LIFE!